Getting A Grip: Mr.T

Let me tell you about T..

T is my ex-.

We were introduced through family friends with the intent to get married in early 2004.

It’s pretty common in my culture. No biggie really. It is very traditional for us to have arranged marriages or as the modern community like to call it these days – ‘semi arranged marriage’. I suppose what that means is, two individuals get introduced and it’s up to the individual(s) to say YAY or NAY. In our case, we had said YAY!

I still ask myself ‘why’ to this day? What was I thinking? Anyhow, moving on!


XXX was T’s girlfriend during the time he had committed to be with me. He apparently then broke up with XXX in late 2005 but not really. Again, I’m not exactly sure what all that means because to my current knowledge they kept in contact/ touch throughout.

T and I got married on 28th October 2006 and separated 1st November 2011. I had moved states by 2012 and with 2013 chugging along the divorce was finalised. So, let’s fast forward to present day. The boy wants me to lie to the girl. The girl who had the boy this entire time.

In non-cryptic terms, T wants me to lie to the same XXX. So here we go:

Dear XXX,

I’d like you to know, it was never my fault nor yours.

My only request is to be left out your relationship issues. It’s quite obvious this is something the pair of you will need to make amends with. The day I had enough evidence of your existence whilst in my marriage, I kindly exited your city for good.

I’m sure that says a lot about how much I don’t and didn’t want anything to do with your T.

Let’s face it, I’ve got the universe to deal with so clearly, I have bigger fights to fight.

I don’t expect you to care for my opinion but I will go ahead and state my opinion anyway. That guy is not worth your heart ache. He was never honest to ‘us’ back then and he is not honest with you today – 13 years later.

You should honour your feelings!

There you go folks. Over a decade later and nothing has changed.

My words will either attract a strong mind or offend a weak one. I shall continue to read my self-help books, articles, and whatever else I can get my hands on. I’ll probably make a good psychologist someday. 😝

The universe and I have unfinished business but whilst I try and argue that out, I will continue to get a grip on things.



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