Why are men disgusting creatures?
Before I start, let me make a little disclaimer. This article comments on men in general, not as a rule. While the comments in this article are based on a wide variety of women’s dating experiences, this is not an exhaustive list.
The writer of this article is female but does not subscribe to any labels such as lesbian, feminist nor bitter old fart. Instead, she believes in equity within society.
I’m simply using this as an opportunity to bring to light certain issues that plague me as a woman living in the society of today.
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”
― Harlan Ellison
How many articles are there online instructing women how to act if they want to attract that ‘perfect’ man? You know what I’m talking about.
“Ladies, these 6 things are grossing him out”
More often than not these articles include such superficial points or vague suggestions to be more confident. Ain’t that the kicker, be more confident but also be bombarded by another list of things you could be doing that are unattractive. Let’s think about this.
Are women really the gross ones?
How many real-life stories have we heard about lecherous men or just disrespectful men? The entire Me Too movement is structured around this very fact.
Now, I’m not a feminist, anti-men nor am I saying that ALL men are this way. But I am saying that as a general trend, men are disgusting creatures. This might not be their fault necessarily or they could be a construct of a society that allows them to behave this way, but it’s true. You don’t need to believe me, let’s just look at the facts.
Men lack empathy
Statistics show that 60% of men (compared to 40% of women) cheat on their partners and partake in compulsive sexual behaviour. They will talk about being attracted to other women with you.
We all know we’re attracted to any number of other people but the difference is women won’t hurt men by saying it out loud. But men will and defend themselves with one simple sentence.
“It’s not like I slept/want to sleep with her.”
If women aren’t cool with this you’re being dramatic. So, we try to be cool. At least, until it drives us crazy and implodes the whole relationship.
After all, ‘boys will be boys’ and boys are gross.
Men can compartmentalise. This might be a trait that women can never fully understand. How do you just think about one thing independently of all other factors? Why would you want to live life that way?
This is probably linked to their lack of empathy.
Women are generally better at handling their emotions than men. Although, I’m not sure if this is because we teach our sons that ‘boys don’t cry’, whereas it’s ok, even good for a girl to cry when she is upset. When you don’t have emotional maturity or are able to compartmentalise all your emotions, you can rationalise just about anything.
Perhaps this is why they always have an explanation.
Basic human decency
Before I go any further, I will say that not all men are guilty of this and there are some extraordinary humans fighting for women’s rights beside us. That said, sexual assault has been used for decades as a weapon to overpower women.
For fuck’s sake, we elected someone who admitted, without regret, to abusing women into THE position of power.
It’s astounding that it is only now that females, led by a few brave women, have begun to slowly change the situation. Men are afraid because, for now, karma has come around to bit them in their butts and wallets. But they can only be afraid for so long.
Eventually, women have to come to the realisation that men are gross and we need to do more than scare them. We need to change whatever makes them gross, be it society or their lack of education.
Men have villainised women
Ever been accused of ‘friend zoning’ someone? Ever been villainised for it? Men constantly villainise women who don’t compensate them for what they believe is an effort.
So, you said I was pretty, does that earn you a smile? Saying that a woman has put you in their friend zone shows how much society has twisted the essence of human interaction. The term ‘friend zone’ assumes that there is an element of duplicity in a relationship, mostly sexual.
But by that logic, if we expected a sexual reward for every ‘nice’ thing that we did, is it really a nice thing?
I for one would have Idris Elba massaging my back. But I’m smarter than that and I realise that life is unfair and men who believe this are inherently disgusting creatures.
Guys don’t need to partner up
Every woman you ask is perpetually aware of her biological clock. We’re constantly reminded about how short our time, especially our baby-making time, is. So, you have two degrees, a good job and spiritual fulfilment? Great, but what a shame you didn’t use your baby-making powers to create life.
Unfortunately, no matter how many studies we publish on the male menopause, the harsh reality is that men don’t need to partner up. Do a survey and see how many women who want stability and commitment are unable to find a willing man.
We can’t really blame them because society encourages men to run at full speed towards their loftier dreams. This may be a reach, but it explains why so many older men chase after much younger women. That’s the point in time that both genders appear to match up in their expectations.
Men are disgusting because they can prioritize themselves and ‘selfish pursuits’ over stability or commitment. It might not be their fault, but it certainly doesn’t stop them from being able to think about it. They simply choose not to.
Unfortunately, this is not a luxury granted to most women, which is why men suck.
They think with their second head
Sex. The one thing to rule them and in the darkness bind them. I might have borrowed that from Lord of the Rings but the sentiment is true. This is the only thing that men care about. We as women are often deceived by the effort a man will put in to get sex. There may be many fish in the sea but men will talk to you for months if there is a promise of getting lucky.
They’re disgusting but men are not stupid. They know how to play the field and send you and a couple of other girls a few texts every day. Of course, after a few months, a girl’s defences are sufficiently worn down and we begin to trust them.
So, we sleep with them and perhaps it’s good, perhaps it’s just fine.
The games don’t end there.
Men know they can’t be complete douchebags and ghost you right away so they’ll wait a week or two. Then work gets busy or they have an overseas work trip and the situation changes. He stops texting you “Good Morning”, sending you sweet messages and making a general effort. We could call them liars but in truth, it’s just their nature. They are disgusting and we need to learn to accept this.
If we sleep with them, without expecting anything, we may be sadder, but much better off for it.
They know what you want to hear and will say it
Why do women think that men are clueless to what women want? After all, there is a multitude of movies, articles and songs telling them exactly what we want to hear. It doesn’t take a genius to be able to tell a woman that he feels different with her and that she’s perfect or ‘the one’.
With one sentence a man can become ‘so different’ to a woman than the rest of the riff-raff and they know it.
Again, I feel like I have to emphasise that this is just a general observable trend, not a rule. While women need not be suspicious of every man who tells them they’re pretty, they can be smart about it. When you accept that they are disgusting creatures that can and will put in hours of effort building a connection with you for sex, you’re better off.
He might say he likes you and mean it but what he left out was, “I like you for sex.” If that’s ok for you, then go right ahead and sleep with him! Girl’s got needs too.
Perhaps the most important thing for women to remember is that it’s going to hurt. Men are gross and they will hurt you. This is not ok or acceptable but it is inevitable. Now, we’ve just got to get smart.
This doesn’t mean that we sink to their level and play games.
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.”
There’s a world of relationship advice on the internet. For example, when a relationship has an ego issue, that’s a major red flag. If you feel like you or he are ‘keeping tabs’, it’s an issue you should tackle immediately.
This can be on either or both sides. Other articles might say that it’s alright to give men a chance, but not too many. Sometimes, this advice can be conflicting. That’s what this article is going to try to avoid.
Instead, grasp that men are gross and what you see, is what you get.
Trying to change your partner or getting them to change ‘for you’ is like worshipping a false god. You might feel better now, but ultimately, you’ll only wind up disappointed.
Men are disgusting but we need them anyway.