You see, collecting and dropping off a cat might seem cool, quirky and fun but really what you are looking at is a form of escalation. If I am willing to go as far as getting a cat for a troll for shits and giggles… what else am I capable of?
There are stories of people getting stabbed, pushed of balconies, drugged, robbed. It’s only a matter of time before something really bad happens to me. I once rocked up to a randoms place to get wasted. She had been hurt. We became the best of friends, but that could have escalated really quickly in the wrong direction. Does that make me a risk taker or a risk seeker?
If you knew what I close my eyes to, would you look at me the same way? Not because there is anything horrendous about it, it’s just not really me. We try and hide our own prejudices, play a little dumb, all just to relate. In the process however, we loose a little pride.
Enough Contextualization. Lets get some of this narrative out of the way. I wish I kept the conversation but I know I’d end up reading over it to pick out punctuation use and manipulators. From memory, it went something like this-
I’m Wolfie, She’s Sad Dino.
Whisper: Someone help, I dont know what to do. My cat is in trouble.
Wolfie: What’s Wrong?
Sad Dino: Hey. I really need a kitten.
Wolfie: Thats strange, Why?
Sad Dino: My cat isn’t doing well, she needs a kitten. Please help she isn’t eating or moving.
Wolfie: Aww kitty!
Sad Dino: Will you get me a kitten for me?
Wolfie: lol. No. I don’t like people.
Sad Dino: But Kitty!
Wolfie: Aww kitty. Ok. Mission accepted. For your cat.
Sad dino: Yay. You can get one for $50.00
Wolfie: Get fucked.
Sad Dino: Ok. How about gum-tree? Can you find one?
Wolfie: lol no. Your cat, you find me a kitten, prove you’re legit. You’ll have to make some calls kiddo.
Sad Dino: But I don’t like talking on the phone.
Wolfie: Do it for Pumpkin, your cat. She needs you.
Sad Dino: ok. I found one. Its free but its far. We need it asap.
Wolfie: Thats ok.
Wolfie: Thats ok.
Details were exchanged, we got phone numbers and snap-chat…because that’s how we prove we are legit these days. Photos checked out, flattering angels and one from camera roll. Never needed to know if you were pretty or not sweetie.
So, what is the game? Stick a random with a cat right? That’s what I would do. So…
The sad dinosaur is a book. It’s a book I like. It’s a book I’ve read. I love that this lovely person was up-front about the entire thing. My world view is so twisted that I find honesty in an obvious con. Little games like this are funny. I’ve met really normal people and they just feel mundane. I need my complex snowflake of a puzzle to “enjoy” someones company. It’s a bit fucked. I wasn’t like this before. I can’t tell if that makes me more out-going or damaged.
Who knew the lengths I would go to in order to preserve a memory. I’ve let people go before. I see no shame in it. When I was growing up, I lived in a place where people moved around a lot. It was just common. Your friends would be there one semester and then you’d come back and they would be gone. It’s just how it is in expat communities. I still remember lil’ lockie who spoke like a mouse and got sad when his nan died. I was the only person he’d talk to. It was just a person we helped once and it felt good.
You see, I’m not an Alpha or a Beta.
I’m an Omega.
I don’t have a pack.
I run with people for a while and then they keep running in a different direction. It’s not that I can’t keep up, it’s just I notice they have a rhythm, a beat…it doesn’t match mine. I guess that’s why I have a few people that have proven to be better than the rest and we keep them closer than we should. We defend them on principle just because that’s what the promise of friendship means. We stick by them no matter the weather, the transgressions or misunderstandings.
An omega will vibe with another omega because… just because. We recognize the scars, the weary, tired eyes, the smile pushed into place with practice. Well if anything little Blackie deserves an Emmy in his life. Even if he is called something else now. He played his role to a T.